Heurim

I've basically relocated myself to tumblr ._.

Anyway I got a booth for EOY 2012 on the 9th, you can check out our stuff at

heroticpeople.tumblr.com

Hope to see you there! (^^)/

Sorry for being so inactive, I've been swamped with both schoolwork and VN-making m(__)m

I realize I owe people some commissions, I'm really sorry and I'll get to them ASAP!

I have to get back to rushing my Project Work now >< Once again, my apologies!

My premium membership is running out in about 11 days!
If you don't mind the wait (2~3 weeks), commission me please!! I need to raise 636 points! ><
Thanks lots! ^^

Happy (late) Chinese New Year :9
In other news, I'm sleeping at 5 AM every day and waking up at 12 PM. \o/
School starts next week and I'm completely unprepared orz
I recently got into Sherlock o3o

... I'm hungry.

So I did pretty OK in Os, and I'm done with the JAE crap.

Now the issue is, I intend to take H2 Art in JC.

I will probably... not get in. It's pretty obvious. I've never had formal art training, I can barely hold a paintbrush and (most of all) I draw manga-style.

I'm not slamming realism or anything. In fact I'm rather envious of those who can do realism. And with manga it's probably impossible to judge if I have proper knowledge of anatomy. (I just... draw what I think looks right. Which is wrong.) I've been trying to do a few realistic pieces for my extremely rushed portfolio, but I can never get past the first few strokes of the pencil. And I think I know why.

"I cannot draw ugly things" (nonsense! everything you have been drawing is ugly!)

My brain runs an ugly check on anything that comes out of my pencil and if it is, it won't come out. It's more of a fear than a disability, I guess. This is why everything I draw ends up looking the same, conforming to what I think is 'beautiful'. And to be frank right now I'd rather stay in that what-I-assume-is-beautiful place. So maybe this is why I need to take Art, so I can get a broader perspective and not be such a tight-ass about pretty things. Then whatever I draw can be brought to a higher level.

OK I'm rambling a bit. But I felt so inadequate standing in that fancy art gallery in that fancy school with fancy student works with the fancy teacher eyeing me condescendingly when I said I had no O Level certificate for Art. And then I had to go lie saying I had a portfolio \o/ Go me.

I dunno, when the teacher looked at me like that I felt like a complete failure, of sorts. Like everything I've drawn my whole life is crap. Or that maybe I don't take art as seriously as I think I do. Or that I don't take art seriously at all, but still think I'm some awesome artist with godly skillz when actually everything is utter crap.

Maybe I just feel jealous, because the school I'm going to is full of child geniuses who probably can produce artistic masterpieces too. I had to work hard to get where I am now, but there are people who can just breeze through every aspect of life and do everything well without trying, you know? But this is getting off-topic. I... should just stop.

Hopefully they can see that I'm willing to learn... and hopefully I myself am willing to learn.

Even if I don't get into H2 Art, I'm still going to draw -- because, in the end, what I draw is what I want, not what anyone else wants.

EDIT: I just went through my gallery, found nothing that I thought was particularly good enough to put in my portfolio. But I might have to use a few anyway, so any suggestions? o/